Sunday, February 24, 2013

Broken Ankle: One Year Later

Three hundred and sixty six days ago I broke my ankle.
Healing has been a journey, a very long journey.
Over two 2 months, which I spent sitting on my bed, went by before I was able to put any weight on my left foot. It took over 3 months of therapy for me to learn how to walk again, literally. Over 100 days passed before I could wear normal shoes (flats) again; and, it was another 3 months after that before I wore heels. Even then, it took another 2 months for me to feel comfortable in heels again. It was only recently that I decided hiking could be a good idea again almost a year later. Every day that passes, I realize I have come a long way since the days the physical pain would not let me sleep. It has also been a long time since my mind had too much time to think about what was going on and every setback seemed like my ankle had broken all over again. It was very difficult to imagine a day when I would be fine again.
There were some very dark days, but the light started shining. Slowly, indeed, but it did.
Dark is dark, I know, but there were some days when the darkness was darker than I can even phantom now. I really did think I would never see the light even though logically I knew the light was just ahead of me. Now that just sounds dramatic, but at the time it was a very real every day experience.
Today, I wear my scar proudly because I survived what it represents. But I will never forget how waiting for June became waiting for July and then September and then TBD because though physically healed, I still had a way to go before I could feel normal again.
I can now do pretty much everything I did before. I have almost completely lost the fear of doing certain things that used to be second nature such as jumping. Also, I have learned to appreciate some of the very simple things that I used to take for granted such as taking a shower and having dinner at the dining room.
Finally, even though I know it is a good thing, I must confess I become a tiny bit disappointed every time I go through a metal detector and it doesn't go off.

xo,R
©2013

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xo,R