Tuesday, April 24, 2012

One step at a time

Despite the fact that six weeks sound better than three months in this particular situation, I know these six weeks are going to be long.
I have started to follow the doctor's instructions and tried to take a few steps. It was so difficult! It was so uncomfortable and I did not feel like I should do it. I didn't think I could do it. I feel my ankle to be weak as if I shouldn't be putting my weight on it yet. But the doctor knows better. I mean it did take two months for him to tell me I could do this, so... Oh, but I know it is going to take a while. He also told me it would, but my imagination didn't think so. Now it knows better.
I held on to the crutches and put my foot in the ground, which is something I hadn't done in two months. Literally. I tried to take a step and I could feel myself freaking out at the thought of hearing my foot crack like that infamous day when I couldn't get up after falling. It was a small step and most on my weight was still on the crutches. I took another one. It was the same again. My weight mostly on the crutches, but my foot on the ground. Slowly. Tiny steps. One more. Repeat. One more time. Again. Stop. Stop! Stop!! I couldn't do it anymore. I had to go back to the crutches partly from the discomfort and partly because I was freaking out. I am not ready. Psychologically perhaps, but the doctor says physically I am. Therapy should help me be more comfortable and regain full strength so I can walk again. I know it is going to be painful because they will massage my nerves so they are normal again, but I can't wait to start it!
My foot looked a little swollen when I cleaned it and put on the medicine for the allergy tonight. The doctor said this would happen, so I wasn't as scared when I saw that. I understand it, but I don't like it. So it begins again: RICE.
Six more weeks. June is almost here!

xo,R
©2012

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xo,R