Saturday, March 3, 2012

Surgery

I cried. I was so scared.
I was to arrive two hours prior to surgery to the hospital. My mom drove me. I didn't really say much on the way. I was trying not to cry. We parked and slowly walked to the outpatient center. There were so many people there, some waiting for their own surgeries and some waiting for their relatives who were in surgery.
It was becoming increasingly difficult to hold the tears.
Someone asked me if I played soccer. I replied with a very shy no and the tears started. I could not believe how far a fall was taking me. The worst started running through my mind. I was fighting really hard to not think and to focus on the fact that I will be perfectly fine in a few months. I know the recovery will be long, but in due time I will be back to normal again.
They called my name to do some paperwork. I took advantage of that to verify with the insurance if they covered my surgery and a woman named Glenn said they did. I took a deep breath. It was a bit of relief, but the tears would not stop. They weren't continuous, but they were very much present.
Debbie, the nurse who was to do the pre-op preparation came to get me. Oh, the tears manifested themselves full fledged. They were not going to stop now. I did not stop crying through out. When she was done putting my IV in, I told her thanks because she was being so patient with me. I knew I was being ridiculous by acting like I was a 5 year old. But she told me I looked like I was 12 so I could get away with it. It pays off to look younger than you are, she told me. I want to bring her flowers when I can walk. She is one of those people who loves what she does for a living!
I spoke to the guy from the cooling machine, who was rather good looking. Ha! The doctor came over to assure me one more time that I would be fine and that I had nothing to worry about. The anesthesiologist came over as well and told me what he would do to make sure I wasn't in pain for a while after the surgery was over. Yes, I was still crying this whole time. I tried to stop. I tried to breathe slowly but I failed. I was too scared.
They moved me to what I will call the right before surgery area. Another nurse there told me not to be scared. She said she sees a lot of surgeries like mine. She told me I had no idea how common it was and she told me my doctor was very good. The anesthesiologist came around and he told me he was going to give me a little something so I would calm down because my heart was going at 154. Yes, it was going that fast. How? I don't know, but that scared me a little more. The moment he gave me what he called his little cocktail I began to breathe more easily and my heartbeat started slowing down. I said thanks to him and he smiled and told me he was glad he could help. Oh, and help he did! I barely felt when he injected my knees to block the nerves.
Once at the OR, I moved myself to the operating bed. The nurse told me to move a little more and that is all I remember. Next time I opened my eyes it was 1:50pm and the surgery was long over. I woke up asking if it was over and everyone was telling me it was and it had gone rather well. Then, my sisters and parents started coming around. Only one at a time. I was at the hospital for another two hours so I could be fully awake and then I went home. No more crying.
On my way to recovery!

xo,R
©2012

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xo,R