Monday, February 20, 2012

Pull the Trigger

Sadness is still a trigger for creativity. I thought I had lost that, but I was wrong. Perhaps I was confusing misery with sadness -now I know the difference or at least that there is one.
I choose sadness over misery, at least I can get something good out of it like a streak of what seems to be good writing. I also know sadness is temporary. I can tell when it is passing. But with misery, I find myself in the dark. Misery brings zero creativity. In fact, it clouds any possibilities of such. In a twisted turn, however, I know it is on my power to stop it. Yet, it leaves me powerless. I am unable to act against it. There is no telling when it will pass, when and if I will be strong enough to fight it.  Sadness I seem not to have any control over. Strangely enough, that gives me hope. Self-perpetrated torture.
Human emotions work as a chain, hence their danger.
Sadness over misery any time though. It is the difference between painful creativity emanating from an ever unrecognizable body that becomes a tool in itself, and mental absence from a body that suffers of an imaginary illness without a visible cause of pain or cure. It is the difference between seeing a light at the end of the tunnel and not recognizing that I have been standing under the sunlight the whole time.


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