Friday, December 30, 2011

Adrenaline Junkie

It was not mere impulse or a strike of insanity. Adrenaline began to slowly pump through my veins as water slowly runs through a river after a storm. The stream grew stronger and stronger. The moment was quickly approaching. The adrenaline was quickly pumping at what seemed to be hyper speed leaving no traces of fear. For a moment I wondered if the adrenaline was the form in which fear was manifesting itself. I discarded the thought and enjoyed the excitement of the anticipation.
Surfing through the wind while taking in the view was strangely peaceful. But I quickly realized I could not breathe. I freaked out. I knew I was falling, but I felt as if I was not moving. I told myself that I would soon enough be able to breathe again. It took about 20 seconds for me to truly realize what was going on.
I could not believe what I was doing. I could not believe jumping off a plane in movement at 13,000 feet above the ground was even possible. But it was!! I had just done exactly that and I was flying! I was flying!! I forgot about not being able to breathe and tried to scream as if anybody would really be able to hear me. I screamed as if to let the world know that it was finally at my feet. Ha! There was a strange mixture of feelings that told me both to pay attention to how gorgeous the world was down below and... how small. I could see beyond anything I would have ever imagined. Everything seemed possible.
It all happened so fast. One moment I was floating in the sky looking towards the end of the world and the next I was looking at the hula hoop where we were supposed to land. I was not ready to land. I could see the ground closer and closer and I did not want yet to reach it. It was over too soon.
I ran through the moment in my mind again and again.
 Once back at the hangar, I felt as if ages had passed since I had been in the air. I found myself wondering about when I could repeat the experience. What I feared the most, became a reality. I had to admit it. I had just developed a new very expensive habit.

This is why the birds sing...

There is absolutely not going back now.
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Peace until...
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Oh, cielos!!!! I can't breathe!!!!! I can't breathe!!!!
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Ha! I am actually doing this!!!
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Whatever happened to I couldn't breathe! Oh, well!
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WTF am I doing?! Is this really happening? AMAZING!!!
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I can breathe again. Ha!
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Where are we landing? Inside that rectangle? What?! How? Alright! In the meantime though, let's spin around!
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Exactly what I was afraid of... almost landing on my face!
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Wait! Why does it feel like this happened such a long time ago? Adrenaline junkies, us? No, we can't be... let's do it again!!!!
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xo,R
©2011

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xo,R