Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Show don't tell

Place description:
Tell: The playground was decrepit.
Show: There was a tired wind blowing through the playground. The days when it shined were long gone. The paint had lost its ability to remain attached to the many bars around. It reluctantly committed suicide slowly. The bars themselves wanted to run away and find a new home. Time had done with the playground as it had pleased only leaving it the memories of glorious days.

Character description:
Tell: The old woman waiting at the bus stop was frail.
Show: Her hands were like the reflections of a three's branches in winter and barely visible at the end of her long coat's sleeves. Her almost lost eyes anxiously scanned the seats at the bus stop as if by desire one empty will appear out of thin air.

Character emotion:
Tell: The confident girl stood out in the crowded room.
Show: Eva forgot where she was upon entering the room. She was reminded of the day she lost her first poetry competition for a moment and she smiled. As she walked through the room to her seat, she thought about the subsequent days to her failure and her smile grew bigger. By the time she sat down, she was sure she had made the right decision then and the stares confirmed her thoughts.

Simile:
Tell: My heart broke like glass.
Show: My heart broke like the wings of a butterfly are deattached from the body by the rain.

Metaphor:
Tell: Honest politicians are few and far between.
Show: Honest politicians are snow storms in Barcelona.

xo,R
©2011

*In class exercise. "Tell" sentences were provided by the professor.

1 comment:

  1. "My heart broke like the wings of a butterfly are detached from the body by the rain." I've been there!

    ReplyDelete

Thank you for stopping by!
If you have any questions, feel free to send them to ashesandfeathers@gmail.com for a timely response.

xo,R