Thursday, November 18, 2010

I want what I want

Choices. There are far too many. They are all subjective as is the moral judgment bestowed upon them by those who have a peripheral view of their results. My choices have certainly earned me some rather harsh criticism. It is impossible to ignore, but through time I have learned that I definitely do not have to listen to it. 
I am tired of people telling me what I should do or what is best for me. I have made some big mistakes -I know that-, but such does not give anyone the right to rear me towards some magical path which, according to them, will ensure me economic, spiritual, physical, and emotional happiness or whatever it is these people are trying to "help" me achieve.
I am willing to listen to their opinions. But I refuse to act on their words. I will not be coerced into anything. I cannot split myself in little pieces and give everyone what they want. I cannot please them all, and I don't want to either.
So, what if they disapprove of my choices? They are just going to have to deal with the fact that I REFUSE TO CONFORM TO THE NORM! In other words, (1) I refuse to settle down, be married and have children. That is not who I am. I was never a housewife in training. Yet, I do want a man who I can dance with, who will hug me and kiss me and bring me flowers. We will practice how to make kids -practice being key as children do not fit in my nonconformist life plan. I don't want a man who will look at me and see the world in my eyes, but a man who will spend his life with me while we see the world together. [Note: I never said I will marry the above alluded to man as there are plenty of charities that can help me with tax write-offs.] (2) I refuse to have a job which will make me miserable only because it provides me with a beyond ample paycheck. But do not misunderstand this statement. I do want a career that will allow me to live a rather luxurious life by mass standards though it might not be so in my book. I want a career that will allow me to live just the kind of life I want: a life that will be indeed happy judged by my principles not by those of the people around me. I want something to which I will not be forcefully tied to, but to which I choose to remain attached. In simple terms, I want a career I can feel fulfilled with and will ensure me financial stability without enslaving me.
I am allergic to conformism, yet I sometimes find myself conforming to my choices. I just want them to be mine and not someone else's.

I am not perfect. Deal with it. It is difficult, but I do. 
I want what I want; and, that is that!


xoxo,
R

©Copyrighted 2010

1 comment:

  1. Sin duda alguna mi parte favorita es la q dice something to the effect of i want something i'm not forcefully tied to, but something i decide to remain attached to....

    Roxy

    ReplyDelete

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