Wednesday, October 20, 2010

S2:E4: Absences

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Recap: Absence is more than not being present.
Physical absence is something we have all experienced. People who are not present are considered absent and such is easily identifiable.  But physical absence is not the only kind of absence. There are people who are psychologically absent. Often times, this sort of absence has a bigger impact whether is is from a family member, a friend or the object of one's affection. There also exists the fact that absences is sometimes simply experienced as when we do not have a way to control or avoid it. That is the case when someone leaves. But there is also the kind we impose on others. When we leave, we are absent. Yet, we never really are as we are somewhere else so we do not suffer our own absence, hence the imposition.
I asked which kind of absence would they rather have and there was a consensus of having physical absence. The idea is that having someone physically absent but psychologically/mentally present requires a certain effort to remain connected. Thus, it is more important than if someone were just there physically but mentally gone. (Note that is sort of mental absence is not directed towards those who suffer an illness which is out of their control.) There was also another important inquiry about having someone halfway: either physically there or mentally, but not both and what that implies. Is halfway really better than not at all? Perhaps for some people that is enough, others have learned that is not so they prefer complete absence. What about return after a long absence? How do we cope with that as a both being the one who returns or the one to whom someone returns? I want to make clear that I am referring to everyone who is part of one's life. Everyone could be absent. On that note, we also touched upon the idea of stages. Sometimes we want people to be absent one way or another or both. Sometimes we want to be absent ourselves, again, one way or another or both. We tried to explore the idea of what this means, but we vaguely touched upon the idea of independence and how absence plays a role on it.
Finally, I would like to point out that all absences hurt regardless of their reasons and their nature. But those that are announce hurt the most because they create expectation. Announcing an absence allows for analyzing it and pondering upon the reasons which might be known or not. What we fail to realize more often than not is that absence is a two sided coin. It weights as much for the one who stays as for the one who leaves. Nobody abandons with impunity. When someone leaves, not only do they leave who they leave, but they also lose who they leave behind.  At that moment is when one is presented with the bill of being absent. One cannot be absent without being gone. One must be willing to relinquish presence when one decides to be absent.

Thanks for participating kids! Remember you can watch last night's episode here.

Coming up next:
Episode 5:
Ignorance is Bliss

xoxo,
R

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xo,R