Friday, September 24, 2010

The cheap vanity of the provocation

I have been called many different things in my rather short life. Most commonly I have been called a bitch for a while now, and for many different reasons. But yesterday was definitely the first time I was called a lesbian, which honestly left me perplexed at how true it is that people judge in regards to their own conditions and their own knowledge or lack thereof. Plus, the vanity this sort of comment entailed is disgusting. 
So here is the story, I have been completely single for a couple of months and officially single and without any compromise for about eight months. Why am I telling you this? Well, how do I say this politically correctly... I suppose there is not really a way to do that so here it goes: I was called lesbian because I am single. EXCUSE ME?! The sort of ignorance, closed minded train of thought and the kind of judgment of independent women this comment implied is simply appalling.
For those of you who don't know me personally, I believe everyone should be able to choose who they want to spend their lives with not have such choices dictated by law. But while I was out in the field trying to cure cancer and aids, overthrow the government, devise a way to implement world peace, stop global warming, develop a way to successfully use solar energy, find life as we know it or otherwise across the universe, writing multiple best sellers and creating magnificent pieces of art, I seem to have missed the memo that states that a single girl is automatically a lesbian.
So I was told that if I don't have a boyfriend, I should at least have a boy toy. Mmm let me see if I understand this... Boyfriend = heterosexual. Single = lesbian. Not ready for a boyfriend or don't want to be called a lesbian? Well, there is the middle ground option, otherwise known as, a boy toy. But beware boy toy = bitch or whore. So in order to avoid being a bitch/whore, the girl gets a boyfriend and, voilĂ , the girl is now categorized as needy and incapable of surviving alone. WHAT THE FUCK?! I mean those are not exactly viable options. It is a trap! What kind of twisted thinking is this?!
I am definitely NOT about to apologize for wanting more in life than to be married and have kids. At 23 years old, or any age for that matter, conforming to such standards or apologizing for not adhering to them would be to make a mockery of myself. Marriage and kids are not an achievement on my book as anybody can have that. I absolutely refuse to join said club of weak humans who chose to conform. I completely lack any intentions of wasting away my days in small town America caged inside a house surrounded by a white pick-it fence while I wait for a husband, who is probably cheating on me every chance he gets, to come home from work. Did I mention that this whole time I would also be taking care of the kids? Of course, I would not be allowed to work either because I might become independent and then hell would break lose. We have been through this! TWICE! Mmm first and second feminist revolutions, anyone?
I will not apologize for wanting more than such a simple and rather insignificant life. I will not apologize for being single and happy because I have more to look forward in life than the above mentioned. I will not apologize for taking my life above and beyond. Most of all, I will not apologize for being picky when it comes to the men I choose to involve myself with. I will not apologize for preferring men who are, of course, physically stunning as if they had been handmade and possess intellectual capacity and extensive knowledge, among other things to offer other than their penis. A specimen of the male sex who thinks with his penis is a teenager not a man. So yes, I am single and will be so until I find a man not a child disguised as a man. I can't help it if the kind of men I like are scarce perfection.
Finally, I will say that not finding a particular guy -read: the one who made the comment- attractive does not mean I am a lesbian. But I am definitely glad to know that I can hurt egos and break hearts without even thinking about it, let alone trying to do so. I cannot avoid wondering about the disasters I would cause if I premeditated such actions and set in motion carefully crafted evil plans... Such a great sport! hahaha





xoxo,
R
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xo,R