Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Episode Seventeen: ♥ & Co.

ustream.tv/channel/the-colors-of-chaos

Recap: Thin line between love and convenience.
We began by discussing the difference between being alone and being lonely; and, the different ways in people might try to feel those voids. It is important to recognized there is a difference between these two. It helps when one realize the implications a confusion can have. Recognizing the difference might help clarify why people are willing to endure certain things in order to avoid being alone and the lengths they are willing to go for the same reason.
Most people seem to conform to abusive, destructive, etc., relationships because they are afraid of being alone, afraid that they might not find someone better, afraid. They have self-esteem issues and the lack the strength for self-sufficiency. If there is someone there, so to speak, there is someone to rely upon. One does not need to show vulnerabilities, etc because when the case presents itself that this might be needed there is someone there to help "hide" or "make up" for those shortcomings.
Going off of someone's question, the idea of the difference between compromising and becoming complacent was also exposed. Compromising is necessary in a relationship because both parties need to know they can count on each other. Becoming complacent, however, is not acceptable. Allow me to explain, compromising/sacrificing is allowed, of course, as long as the sacrifice is not the self.  Becoming complacent is sacrificing the self for someone else. It must not be that way.  One must sacrifice/compromise without forgetting that one also matters.
So toxic relationships are so not because they damage those in them physically, but psychologically or both.  Those relationships are the ones to be avoided. Fear of being alone or feeling unwanted, etc does not justify getting comfortable.  That only hurts the self.
It was indirectly agreed upon that people need to be, in fact, alone some time in order to know themselves.  In short, there must first be an I and a YOU, and then a WE. But we also agreed that it is not a good thing to become too comfortable with being alone.  One must be willing to take risks. 
Do not confuse love with company.

Thanks to the viewers. You totally make the show with your comments!

Coming up next:
Episode Eighteen:
Behind the Curtains

xoxo,
R

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xo,R